The Nastiest Things Gynos Had To Fish Out (That Wasn’t A Baby)

Women have attempted to make use of their most sensitive body part for secreting a plethora of items, from the contraband to the simply bizarre to the grotesque. Medical literature records an almost endless list of unusual items that have been discovered in ladies’ natural purses over the years. Treating your coin purse as a literal coin purse is not advisable, and should something become lodged up there it’s a good idea to consult your gyno. For your entertainment, here are some of the most unusual things that gynecologists have discovered in the cave of wonders.

#1 A Chicken

Only in Russia. As part of a ‘shock art’ presentation in 2010, a woman who called herself Vacuous C**t, stuffed a whole chicken up her vagina! Yes, a whole chicken. She walked nude into a supermarket, being filmed, of course, and promptly snatched a frozen chicken from the freezer and stuffed in inside of herself. Later the video shows her birthing the chicken onto the pavement outside. Is this the Russia version of Jackass, or a feminist statement of some sort?


#2 Pop Rocks

Getting a little kinky and frisky, a California couple decided to experiment with candy and other treats. When some exploding Pop Rocks were inserted, it resulted in a quick trip to the ER for treatment. The woman reported that the sugary treat caused a “burning and itching” rather than the “tingling” sensation and she was required to have the substances flushed out by a doctor. So while it may seem like a sweet idea to play with sugary treats in the bedroom, it’s important that they are specially designed to be kind to your lady parts. Magical as your garden is, they don’t enjoy candy quite the same way as our mouths do!


#3 A Vodka Bottle, Filled With Yellow Stream

Talk about getting artsy and creative, the Darwin Award goes to Mischelle Lindy Salzgeber, a 24-year-old from Florida, who found a way to use her bald eagle to store something useful. Yes, Mischelle conceived a not so ingenious solution to the problem of how to pass a drug test when you have been under the influence. However, the jig was up when they did a random body search and found the vodka bottle she had hidden in her honey pot that was filled with fresh urine, ready to be tested. What’s worse in this hide and seek game is that the hidden vodka bottle of urine found in her lady garden was tested positive for illegal substances as well.